When stakes are high, and emotions run wild, participants in difficult conversations revert to two damaging behaviors: they withdraw, withholding key information, or they attack, moving the others to withhold key information.
Then dialogue continues around bad data. Bad assumptions made, poor results ensue. This happens in both personal and professional situations.
We need to act on the full data, the full story, to make good decisions.
Hate to make it sound so clinical and emotionless.
I know that all decisions are based on emotions. But with bad data we tap into our emotions incorrectly and screw it up. And trust devolves and things get worse.
At the Leadership Lunch and Learn on July 12th, I’ll be reviewing Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High. This book gives great insights on how to make these discussions productive, not destructive.